Faded Burns
by xoleah25
Summary: Peeta and Katniss have returned back to District 12. As they try to figure out the beginnings of their normal lives, where will this lead the two ex-starcrossed lovers? A Pre-Epilogue that tells of the pairs rekindling.
1. The Confrontation

***AHHHH MY FIRST LONG-CHAPTER FANFICTION! I'm pretty excited. Be sure to review and tell me what I can improve. Love you all! ~xoleah25***

_Disclamer: I don't own The Hunger Games. All of the characters and settings and other things are not mine. I wish they were mine._

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_Chapter 1_

Things begin to feel almost normal again. But really what is normal? Is normal the girl before the reaping? The girl who defied the capitol with her star crossed lover? The girl that was the catalyst for a rebellion? Things for me will never seem to be normal again.

I try not to spend all day in bed anymore. I can't stand to be around myself when I do. I feel as if I am my mother. Depressed, and alone. I'd rather not sit drowning in my own self suffering. I force myself to get up and hunt or make a nice dinner for myself.

I make a routine. Get up, hunt, attempt to cook, take a walk, work on the plant book, sleep. The routine becomes involuntary. I try not to think and just follow through with the actions. Day after day of nothingness. I've done this strategy already in the first games.

Something inside me knows I can't keep going on like this. Distracting myself from the cruel reality of the past. Yet I make no effort to change.

I wake up to the rays of the sun shining down into my eyes. I could use a few more hours, the nightmares have plagued me from getting more than a few hours each night. I roll out of bed and throw on some old pants and a long sleeve green shirt. Typical and ordinary. Anything to hide my scars.

I head down the stairs. I'm later than I had hoped. I quickly grab an apple and my bow and arrows. Just as I am about to open the door, somebody else grabs the handle.

Not the person I want to see right now.

Peeta shifts his weight and smiles nervously in the door frame. I notice the black and blue bags under his eyes, identical to mine. Sleepless nights. "I brought over some bread." He says, cutting the awkward silence.

"I was just about to go hunting, but please come in," I speak in monotone. I open the door for him and watch as he stumbles his way into my home.

Nothing has ever been the same. Despite Peeta's desperate attempts to warm up to me since he came back, I keep trying to push him further away. Sometimes I ask him to draw something for my book, but those are only on the good days.

The baker walks over to my table and sets down the bread carefully. I expect him to leave and go on his way but he sits down. Great.

I know I have to continue to host for him. I sit down across from him and stare at the bread, crossing my arms across my chest protectively. He just stares at me.

"Katniss…" He starts. I know what's coming and I don't want to do this. It's not my fault I'm the only one who knows the answers he so desperately desires. He's tried this before, cornering me. "I need to know. We can't keep ignoring each other like we did in the past. I need to know whats happened."

I look up at him. The deep blue eyes. The eyes I had stared into so many times before, each time with a different emotion. Beginning with hatred, but turning into something softer. The arms that had held me… He touches my hand as to grab it.

I yank my hand away and push the chair back, jumping out quickly. The only sound is my chair screeching back. "Don't touch me", I snarl. I know this isn't the boy who strangled me almost a year ago, but he has extended his welcome. I want to crawl back in bed. I walk over to the couch, my back facing him.

I hear him let out an exasperated breath. He stands up. "Katniss, I need to know!" He yells, his usually soft blue eyes hard. "I'm sorry! I don't know what else to say. I don't know what's real or not. Did Clove force you to torture me? Did you try stabbing me in the second arena? I don't know!" He bellows and kicks over the chair. I don't make eye contact.

I can't do this anymore. I drop my bow and make a run up the stairs. I maneuver down the hall and into a spare linen closet. I go in and close the door, masquerading myself as a blanket. The tears start to fall slowly down my cheek. I breathe in on one and out on two. I force myself to stay quiet. I have to remind myself that I am not in 13 anymore and I can't go hiding from my problems, but I can't deal with Peeta. Just as things are starting to feel normal. I want to shrink away into a small nothingness. I feel like I'm going to throw up. I hear his heavy footsteps climbing the stairs and I quickly lock the door. He calls out my name with added apologies. I think he hears my crying because he sits down against the door of the closet.

"Katniss, I'm sorry." He says quietly after minutes of just the sound of my breathing. His gentle voice makes me want to leap into his arms and sleep but I can't do that. This is not the Peeta I once knew. I open the door and crawl out of the closet. I sit across from Peeta, both our backs pressed against the walls of the hallway. I wrap my arms around my knees. I need to do this.

"Peeta." my voice cracks."Its hard, and we have been through worse." I pause and look right into his eyes. "Everyday I wake up and see my burns. Scars." Now I'm in danger of crying again. "I go through each day and do the same thing, expecting the hurting to leave but it doesn't. It's worse for you, considering the fact you don't even know what happened. I don't know myself. All I know is I tried so hard to protect her and I couldn't. I'm sorry." I sob into my hands. All thoughts of trying to hide myself from Peeta is gone. I am so vulnerable it pains me.

He doesn't say anything. He stands up in front of me and grabs my shaking hand. He leads me back into my bedroom. I sit on the side of the bed and let him take off my shoes. He tucks me into my bed and sits down in the chair next to me.

He takes the book off the table next to my bed and begins to read to me. Its some old boring poetry from hundreds of years ago, but when Peeta reads it it sounds like a beautiful song. I curl up into my bed and look at him, tears slowing down. He looks so at peace. Sitting with one leg across the other. I don't understand why he's being so nice to me after I have treated him terribly for years.

I ignore that and try to picture the time on the roof before the second games. I end up drifting off to sleep to the fading sound of Peeta's voice and the incoming sound of Prim's screams.


	2. The Bakers

***HI! SORRY SCHOOL GOT IN THE WAY. BUT I AM BACK! STILL TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT DIRECTION I WANT TO HEAD. SORRY ITS SHORT. A LONG BEAUTIFUL ONE WILL COME NEXT, I PROMISE! PLEASE REVIEW AND SHARE WITH EVERYONE! ~xoleah25***

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_Chapter 2_

Two weeks have past since the night with Peeta. I find it harder to keep myself as preoccupied as I thought it would be.

The thing that used to bring me joy brings me the exact opposite. I can't stand to be in the woods for more than a few hours. Each time an arrow slips from my fingertips, I feel the urge to desperately grab it back before it adds a name to the list of the innocents whose death was caused by the very fingertips that string my bow. The green scenery resembles both of the arenas. Rue, Thresh, and so many others. Pawns of the capitol.

I usually am able to rouse myself away from the woods and end up walking aimlessly around the city. Just to be reminded of how hard the people of this district worked to put food on the table, but in the end it all went up in flames. The flames of a girl on fire.

I try and fill the time with doing chores around the district. I hope I will be able to turn my destruction into something beautiful.

I sit next to Haymitch on a bench in his backyard. We throw bread crumbs at his geese and they all rush and push each other to get it. It reminds me of the cornucopia. We make a game of throwing two bread pieces in opposite directions and watching them get confused. Things are good with me and Haymitch, at least while he's waiting for the next alcohol shipment to arrive.

I can't help but ignore the silence between us. The missing link.

"He needs you Katniss." He firmly states. Suddenly, I am very much interested in the state of my shoes. Can I be alive for five seconds without being reminded of him?

"I know Haymitch, but he isn't the same." I bite my lip. For some reason, this angers Haymitch. He stands up in front of me, towering over me. I get a whiff of his smelly clothes.

"Look Katniss, life is not as easy as you want it to be. Believe it or not, everything isn't magically perfect once you are done being the mockingjay. For god's sake Katniss! You are all he has." He fumes. His eyes have a bewildered look in his eyes, like I'm his prey.

"This kid has been with you through this whole crazy shit and never stopped loving you. You constantly pushed him away. The kid had his fucking mind fucked with because he loved you! Without that little statement to Caesar, I promise you we would not be in this place right now. Just think Katniss. The kid is not the same boy. But he is a boy that would have given his life for you no matter what and what do you do? You leave him in the dark. What type of person does that make you?!" He finishes screaming, his saliva splashing all over me. He is right. Why am I always wrong? He sits back down and mumbles to himself. "I'm sorry." He grumbles and turns to go back the house.

I need to fix things. Its only fair he understands everything. That we are only friends.

I walk next door to Peeta's house. I take a deep breathe before I open the door. I have no clue what I'm going to do. I knock and open the door.

There stands Peeta, with the noticeable crinkle in between his eyebrows from concentration. He looks up from the piles of bread around him. He looks amazed that I am even standing in front of him. He brushes his hands off on his apron. I close the door and sit down in a chair.

Nobody really knows what to say. He brings over a plate of cheese buns. I thank him and he sits down across from me.

I open my mouth but nothing comes out at first. "I want to make things right." I say simply. I look him directly in the eye, awaiting whatever clever words will come out his mouth.

"Okay, I'll allow it." He says, a smile appearing on his face. I smile nervously. How do I mend things?

"Hunting has been getting kind of dull and lonely. Do you think I can help with some bread?" I ask. I am terrible baker but he will appreciate me trying.

He laughs, "Are you sure you are up for the job?"

I nod in response and follow him as crosses back over to the table. He explains how to make a few types of bread. I try and concentrate and he's patient with me even though I get confused multiple times. I almost get burned again but assure him that it's nothing compared to what we already have had happen to us. We talk about bread for a long time, not bringing up anything from the past. How that boy goes on and on about bread I will never know.

Everyday, I go out hunting for as long as I can maintain and then go help out Peeta. It's calming and relaxing. The comfort of silence is all that I could have wished for. I attempt to bake but it usually never ends well. I go and do the bread run for him or just sit and watch.

My favorite days are when he decorates the cakes. I sit next to him and watched the delicate smooth hand work. So different from Gale's damaged rough hands. I catch myself staring at the light on his eyelashes, then suddenly I am recovering from the broken tailbone watching Peeta write in the book. It seems like years ago but the rebellion ended only almost a year ago.

Me and Peeta get along better. We begin to play Real or Not Real again. He's cautious to only ask me only a few at a time or I end up crying.

Slowly I feel myself drifting back to the bakerboy… And it is terrifying.


End file.
